Dearest Brother of Mine,
It brings me great pain to hear of your tragic fortune at the craps table. The loss of the helicopter, in particular, brought a tear to my eye. Multiple tears, if I am to be truthful. I can only hope that in the time since you wrote, you have managed to survive without encountering too much hardship.
I must speak frankly: I, too, have come across unexpected challenges. Shortly after arriving in Niger, I was captured by Tuareg nomads and forced to join their caravan across the Sahara. For the first several weeks, I was contained inside a burlap sack and strapped on a camel's back. Certainly it was difficult to maintain a positive attitude, but I endured it by picturing the faces of my loved ones and nibbling on camel fur. Now that I have gained the trust of my captors, I am permitted to walk alongside my camel, provided that I do not attempt escape (which would result in unspeakable consequences).
Needless to say, your letter explained a lot about my circumstances, I am convinced that the Croatian mob that threatens you is also responsible for coordinating my Tuareg cross-cultural experience. Quite possibly, you will hear of my predicament before receiving this letter-and you may be asked for ransom. I understand that since your big losses in craps you will be unable to buy my freedom-- perhaps you could approach our young brother with the Croatian/Tuareg demands. Please make haste, as the hot season is quickly upon us here in the desert and I do not have any rehydration salts. My approximate location is 20 degrees N lat, 10 degrees E long.
With Greatest Affection,
Jessica
Monday, April 21, 2008
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